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Tuesday, July 15, 2014

62 Pounds Lighter

Next week will mark a year since I began my weight loss journey. After I had my daughter I left the hospital weighing 248 pounds. I had to make a change. Yes, I had just had a baby but I was already over weight when I found out I was pregnant, so the weight gain was not just from the pregnancy alone. I wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be happy with how I look. I wanted my husband to be proud to have me by his side (he never said he wasn't, this was my own insecurities from being over weight). Most of all I wanted to be healthy for myself and for my family. I want to set an example for my children. How could I tell my four year old he needed to eat his vegetables, take his vitamins and not eat junk food when I wasn't even doing that? I was a hypocrite and I was living a lie. I needed to practice what I preached.

The left picture was taken July 2013 and the right yesterday, July 2014 and 62 pounds lighter.

Enough was enough. I knew I needed help. I got down on my knees and prayed to God to help me. You may think it is weird to go to God about weight loss but doesn't He tell us to cast our burdens on Him? I was heavily (no pun intended) burdened. I was unhappy with how I looked which affected my entire attitude, my marriage and my day to day life. I was miserable. The reasonable thing for me to do was ask God for help. Help me be strong enough to do this, help me be happy again. God answered.

This is when I met my friend Annie. Annie taught me about clean eating. She taught me how bad preservatives are for you and how not only do they effect your health but also your well being. Preservatives play with your hormones which in turn changes your moods. Cut them out and not only will you see your weight drop but your attitude will improve. Annie taught me how homemade is always better. That by making homemade you know exactly which ingredients are being put into your meals. Fresh is always best. She also taught me that it's ok to have cheat days. With out cheat days I probably wouldn't have made it as far as I have. Having a cheat day doesn't mean eating whatever you want the entire day but that brownie you have been craving? Go eat it. That bowl of pasta that has been calling your name? Go for it. The key is moderation and after you have your cheat day, get back on track the next day. I owe a lot to my friend and will always be thankful for having met her.

Exercise contributed to my weight loss. If you know me then you know I despise exercising. Everyone says that you will grow to love it and start craving it. I call B.S. to that. It has been about 6 months since I started seriously working out and I can tell you that I still hate it. I run four days a week and each of those days I run about 5 miles. I hate every second of those 5 miles. I probably wouldn't do it at all but I have the treadmill sitting in my living room and I swear it's looking at me, taunting me. Making me feel guilty for even thinking of not running. I can say for sure that after I run I am happy I did it. I may not be happy while I am actually running but once I am done it feels good because I know the next day is a rest day. I get it over with so I don't have to run the day after. I give my knees a break and in turn makes exercising easier by not doing it every day.

Through this last year I have lost 62 pounds. I may not be where I would have liked to have been by now but I feel like that is a huge accomplishment. I still have quite a few moments when I look in the mirror and I am disgusted with how I look but I figure that will be an on going battle. I will probably never be completely happy with how I look. Isn't that how most women are? I do know that I have come a long way in a year. I am no longer wearing XXL shirts, I am down to a large. I have gone down two pants sizes and 3 bra sizes. I seem to have lost most of the weight in my boobs. Figures doesn't it? The one place you don't want to lose it is where you lose it first. Something I should warn you about is that when you lose a lot of weight, it isn't always pretty. After having two kids my skin does not bounce back like it once did. Now I have extra skin that likes to hang and I tuck into my jeans so no one can see it. That probably sounds gross doesn't it? I'm not ashamed of it though. My body worked hard to make two beautiful babies and worked even harder to shed that weight. It's a battle wound that I will wear with pride. Sure I could get a tummy tuck but why should I? It doesn't bother my husband. He is still very much attracted to me so why should I risk having unnecessary surgery? I'll never be a swim suit model but I'm ok with that.

I think I should change this post to being about a life style change rather than a weight loss journey. Usually once someone has lost weight they stop eating healthy. I don't want to go back to that, Once I hit my goal weight I will continue to eat a clean eating diet. Though it will probably always be a struggle, this is my life now.  This change is permanent. I will be healthy for my husband, my kids and for myself. I will set the example for them.