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Thursday, December 13, 2012

Pregnancy and wanting to die

I have not posted in a while and it is because I am too sick to type. Just looking at a computer screen makes me nauseous. I just read an article about being pregnant and having HG. severe morning sickness that lasts all day every day. Its what I have. I was never diagnosed with my first pregnancy but I was reading more about HG and how ot can cause misscarriages. With my first pregnancy I was sick all day every day and ended up misscarrying at 10 weeks. I also had it with my second pregnancy. I was sick pretty much all day every day and was in and out of the hospital being treated for dehydration. It lasted for the entire 37 weeks I was pregnant. my son is now two. I am 10 weeks pregnant now and am once again sick all day every day. The article I just read on HG said you are pregnant and feel like you want to die. thats exactly how I feel. Every morning I wake up at 430am and run to the bathroom and retch over and over.This will last until about 9am and then I try and have a light breakfast. After I eat I have to take a nap so I can keep my breakfast down which doesnt always happen. this goes on all day. Every meal I have to nap after so I can try and keep it down. This hard part is I have a twoyear old son I have to take care of. i feel likesuch a bad mother having him see me get sick all the time. Sometimes he will come into the bathroom with me and hold my hand while I am getting sick. He knows I dont feel well. I spend the entire day either in the bathroom or laying on the couch. What kind of mother does that make me? My son just wants to play and I have to tell him to sit still when he sits with me on the couch because movement makes me nauseous. Lately I have even thought of abortion. Which I would never ever do but not beimg sick anymore sounds so nice. I feel guilty even thinking that let alone typing it out for you all to see.
Has anyone else suffered like this while pregnant?
Im sorry for all the typos Im writing this from my phone just thinking aboit using the lap top makes me want to get sick...