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Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Frustrated

I've been feeling frustrated/stressed lately for a lot of different reasons. Some little and some big reasons. I guess I'll go ahead and post about them. Maybe it will help me feel better or at least get a little perspective on why I am feeling this way.
The first reason is a big one. We are trying to conceive. My husband and i have been talking about having another baby for a while and have deiced now that our son is going to be 2 (in 3 days! yikes!) that it is the right time to start trying again. The reason I am so frustrated about this is because it is nearly impossible to get time with my hubby to get down to "business". We only get to see each other on the weekends (if his pass is approved) and more often than not I'm not O on the weekends. I know if it is meant to happen it will. I need to put my faith in God and stop worrying about this.
The other big reason why I am stressed is I wish I could go home and visit my Dad. I don't really want to get into all the details because it is painful but I will say is we spoke the other day for the first time in over a year. he was going through a really hard time and is an alcoholic. About 2 months ago he hit rock bottom, again I won't go into the details all I will say is that it was bad, really bad. However, in most cases you need to hit rock bottom before you can get better. Thankfully this was his case. He just graduated from a rehab program and attends daily AA meetings. He hasn't had a drink in 35 days. He called me the other day apologizing for all the pain he put us kids through (I have a twin sister and a younger brother). I was afraid to answer the phone because we hadn't spoken in so long. The last time was at my Grandmother's (his mom's) funeral. I am so happy I answered though. There was a lot of crying on both our parts but it went really well. he is trying to find a job and is trying to get his life back on track. He takes it one day at a time. I am SO proud of him. I love having my Daddy back. I am praying every day that he find the strength to stay away from alcohol.
A smaller reason why I have been frustrated is my son is now in the terrible twos. Oh boy. he has been having some major temper tantrums lately. It's all I can do to keep from pulling my hair out! I need a break! I wish Colin was here so I could relax just for an hour or two. I need some me time! I feel selfish saying that though. I know what Colin is doing is very important. I mean he is in training o defend our Country and our Freedom! How more of an important job can you have? Does anyone out there have any tips on temper tantrums and the best way of dealing with them? He doesn't really understand time outs yet as he is still young. Good thing he is so cute because right now it's his saving grace!