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Friday, March 2, 2012

The Meltdown

I had a major meltdown this morning. Well, more like a pity party. I woke up this morning wishing more than anything that my husband was laying behind me with his arms wrapped around me. Of course, he wasn't there. He's over at Ft. Lee training. I layed there and cried for about an hour, then my son woke up and I knew my pity party had to be ended my son needed breakfast and a bath. It was the distraction i needed. Then I had another meltdown because i started reading other Army Wife blogs about how after deployment their husbands had changed for the worse. How they wanted sex but no longer wanted the intamacy of cuddling after. They no longer wanted to be romantic or having anything to do with being a family anymore. I can only imagine how awful it is for our soldiers being deployed. I'm sure i'd be the same way if it was me coming back. However as much as I would miss the intamacy, I'd just want my husband to come home to me because living without him is worse than living with a "changed" man. He is the love of my life. There will be no other man for me. He is mine and I am his. We are a perfect match. As long as he comes home to me, I will be a happy wife and we will figure out a way to make things right again. I know that if roles were reversed he would do the same for me.
My husband is still in training and hasn't been deployed yet but I know its coming. But not yet. Thank God not yet. When it does, I will be here praying for him every morning, every afternoon, every night. He is mine. And I plan on keeping him for a long, long time. I'm not nearly done with him yet.